In No Uncertain Terms
by tere moto the sentry
Summary: Drabbles of fluffy romance among Fanboy, Chum Chum, and Kyle.
1. Best Man, Vampires

**Best Man**

"Kyle's _my_ best man!"

"I'm closer to him than you are!"

"Why can't you take Oz?"

The day Kyle had seen his friends setting up the decorations and lawn chairs outside the Fanlair, he had run home before they could give him his invitation in person. His rational side had kicked him for checking his mail slot each morning; he attributed it to the fact that he did not get a lot of mail to look forward to.

Fanboy and Chum Chum had decided that their bond was so strong that they had planned a (rather unofficial; they _were_ children) wedding.

Not at all to Kyle's surprise and much to his annoyance, he had been asked to be the best man, but it flattered him to no end that they were now fighting over whose best man he was to be.

"_Mine!_"

"_I_ get him! How about you just have a maid of honor?"

After watching them for a while, Kyle got an idea of how he might get even more out of this opportunity.

"Allow me to settle this," he interrupted. "I shall serve as best man to whichever of you can leave me alone longer."

**Vampires**

Capes flitted through Kyle's peripheral vision, even after he had put up his exclusive magic cone. It was almost a given that they would not be working on the assignment Mr. Mufflin had given, which Kyle was trying to concentrate on despite Fanboy and Chum Chum's attempts at his attention with their "mysterious" swishing and sneaking around.

"Ow!" he cried out when wet teeth clamped down on his shin. He glared down at Chum Chum sucking on his pant leg and drooling onto his sock.

"No, buddy! We must control our thirst!" His cape wrapped about him, Fanboy pried one friend off the other.

"I apologize, human," Fanboy said in a dramatic tone.

"You're not vampires," Kyle dully told them once again. He rose from his desk and strode to his locker, hoping to leave them behind.

They were at his heels, hiding behind passing students while thinking Kyle couldn't see them. They finally appeared at his side when he stopped, and to Kyle's disappointment the locker door to Fanboy's face deterred neither of them.

It's not safe for you to be around us, Kyle," Fanboy informed him.

"Then leave," Kyle said flatly.

Once he sat down again he sensed his nitwits looming over his head (though he wasn't sure how Chum Chum was doing it).

"Kyle was sure of two things," Fanboy thrust two gloved fingers in the wizard's face.

"The first one," Chum Chum chimed in, "was that Fanboy and Chum Chum were super vampires."

"And the second thing," Fanboy finished, "was that he was hopelessly and iridescently in love with them."


	2. Camping

**Camping**

_It was so clear; one scene was a picnic; another took place at a five-star restaurant; a few involved a movie night…Each place had a romantic feel to it._

He couldn't understand why each one had him with either Fanboy or Chum Chum.

Kyle drifted out of the dream and awoke. The moon was still high above him, and he noticed that his sleeping bag was not alone as it had been. His two campmates had moved their ManArctica bedding from the spot he had designated for them, and were now on either side of him, sleeping contently.

The strangest thing about the dream was that it was only now, when he was awake and they were still asleep, that it felt like he had parted with them. Kyle realized that, oddly, he did not feel like _he exclusively_ had been in his own dream. He shook off the feeling and got comfortable in his sleeping bag again, pulling the glittering griffins and stars up to his chin, but when he began to leave consciousness he sensed a bizarre presence…it was as if other minds were there, waiting on him—

He woke up again, wiggled into a sitting position where he could view both boys simultaneously, and peeled back an eyelid of each of them. The skin stretched with cartoonish elasticity, and as Kyle studied the eyeballs beneath, he noticed that Fanboy and Chum Chum's rapid eye movement seemed to mirror each other's. Could…they be having the same dream?

His wizard side cut through skepticism to realize that they were _sharing their dream with him._

He didn't know how that was, but when the boys snuggled closer to him he felt they were beginning to miss him. And Kyle _was_ rather tired. And he acknowledged that the boys had been quite sweet to him in the dream.

As his eyes closed again, the boy in the middle smiled, planning to suggest the destination of the next date.

Author's Note: Another of Fanboy and Chum Chum's inexplicable powers, this one seen in "Freezy Freaks". Also, thinking about the "Vampires" story in the previous chapter, I thought I'd share a bit of trivia—I saw character bios on Nickelodeon's website, and it seems Kyle claims that his Necronomicon is a "Twilight" fan.


End file.
